Rehearsal process and development

I rehearsed my Solo Piece 'Have you ever done something you know you shouldn't have?' in front of a friend who goes to Mountview Academy and is being trained in dance and theate and got the following feedback/advice for changing and improving the piece.

• They enjoyed the assembly story, and the paris/cliff story, and the conservatory, these should stay the same.
• The train story was funny but there were parts that seemed irrelevant, so I've cut the small section about the lady with the baby struggling with the suitcase, and the woman with the food trolley. Although the part about giving up my seat is not relevant to the punchline or the story, it was advised that I keep it in because it is funny and will get laughs.
• The police interview now uses a spotlight and is closer to the audience because it is an intimate piece, and I have been told to act more aggressively, have more of a 'why am I even here' attitude, and to extend the final lines about the man getting away with something. This makes the audience wander what he has gotten away with that made me attack him.
• A slight change in structure happens here, instead of the confession about Hyde taking over, I have been advised that the 'My 1st Memory' section should come next, because it runs smoother and lifts the atmosphere after the police interview. It also starts to include my brother, an important element of the story that prior to the change in structure, came in rather late in the performance. I end this piece with a small dance section where I isolate my movements to imitate a struggle with them, whilst telling the audience 'If my brother was normal it would make going on the underground (etc) easier'. I was told that although it looked good, the way I used these movements alongside the confession was confusing as they did not relate to eachother. The dance section no longer has 'Beautiful Burnout' playing in the background as it was felt it distracted too much from the words, so is now a dance without music.
• The spotlight then comes back on and I admit to Hyde taking over me, and why I attacked the man. This is only a short section and is addressed to the audience instead of using dance to imitate disability.
• The music for the club/fight scene has been changed because Underworld's 'Moaner' seemed too monotonous. Instead, I am now using Underworld's 'Between Stars' (Deadawn remix). The lights come back up from a spotlight to full cover at the start of this scene. I was told the violent and physical dancing, along with the loud and quick music detracted from the words and speech, so I have changed the dance to the repetition of an 8 beat sequence with pauses in between for speech. This makes what I am saying clearer and the dancing looks more refined. The final lines for this remain the same, 'This is for the retards of the world, the dowies and the crips....(etc), but instead of using the 8 beat repeated sequence I was told to throw punches and kicks towards an imaginary person, and to 'freak out' because this was the most violent and aggressive part of the speech and was leading up to a crescendo, after which the music cuts out and I collapse to the floor.
• The following section remains the same, only I will interact with the audience more on a one to one basis as I ask them questions. Instead of offering the audience a beer at the end of this section, it has been changed. I will now go to pick up a can of beer (with water instead of beer) from the wings, drag the chair across the stage and sit on it to down the 'beer'. I will imitate drunkeness, telling the audience of the effects it has on me whilst falling uncontrollably to the floor, seemingly drunk, to snap out of it and tell the audience 'this is how my brother feels all the time.' I will then finally collapse.
• The very final section has been changed. When I played Ian Dury's 'Spasticus Autisticus' alongside pictures of my brother, I was told that it seemed incredibly offensive, especially considering the sensitivity of the poem that had just been. I realise that I only know that the song is not offensive because I have read the lyrics (which are quite hard to understand in the verses) and the background to the song etc, but the audience do not. Therefore I have removed the song. I repeated the poem along with just the projections of my brother but was warned that it looks too 'soppy' and self indulgent, something that I DO NOT want to do and have been steering away from during the process of making this piece, so have also decided to get rid of these slideshow projections. I have however kept in the 'thank you for listening to my brother' video at the end, but will now simply say the poem on its own, without music dance or a soundtrack because, from the feedback, it is more powerful on its own, especially after the intensity of the previous fight scene.

Although I am slightly annoyed that some of the sections have been cut, like the song Spasticus Autisticus, I appreciate the feedback and refinement of the piece. It has taught me that I although I know why something is included, the audience might not understand it. I like the structure of the piece more now too, and the shortening of the comedy/stand-up type section at the start can only be a good thing as it was running too long anyway. I am also glad that I introduced my brother earlier on in the piece because prior to the change, he was only introduced towards the end which was odd considering the piece is based around him. I am a lot happier with the structure now because it is not so split by the comedy and the serious, the 'My 1st memory' section acts as a comic interlude that lightens the mood of what could be a very dark piece.